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Funny Flower Quotes.

"Daisies. The Original Fortune Tellers."
  • "You love flowers, but you cut them. You love animals, but you eat them. You tell me you love me, so now I'm scared!" Anon.

  • 'You ate my begonias! God!' from Mrs. Doubtfire.

  • "Flowers are all about Sex". David Dilcher.

  • "Daisies. The original fortune tellers." Anon.

  • "Keep calm and buy me some flowers". Anon.

  • "You'd get a lot more work done if you didn't stop and smell the roses so often". Anon.

  • "Life without Gardening? ... I don't think so!" Anon.

  • "One sure way to lose another woman’s friendship is to try to improve her flower arrangements". Marcelene Cox.

  • "A fox is a wolf who sends flowers". Ruth Brown.

  • "If the English language made any sense, lackadaisical would have something to do with a shortage of flowers". Doug Larson.

  • "Children in a family are like flowers in a bouquet: there's always one determined to face in an opposite direction from the way the arranger desires". Marcelene Cox.

  • "Flowers are not made by singing 'Oh, how beautiful', and sitting in the shade".  Rudyard Kipling.

  • "For myself I hold no preferences among flowers, so long as they are wild, free, spontaneous. Bricks to all greenhouses! Black thumb and cutworm to the potted plant!" Edward Abbey.

  • "And if you voz to see my roziz

         As is a boon to all men's noziz,

         You'd fall upon your back and scream

         'O Lawk! O criky! it's a dream!'"

          Edward Lear.

  • At the Flower Shop: "Do you have a rose by any other name?"

  • "This old world that we're livin' in

         Is might hard to beat.

         You get a thorn with every Rose

         But - ain't the roses sweet?"  

         Frank Stanton.  

  • "Why do people give each other flowers? To celebrate various important occasions, they're killing living creatures? Why restrict it to plants? "Sweetheart, let's make up. Have this deceased squirrel". The Washington Post

  • "I have never met a suicidal plant. You have to kill a plant; it won't kill itself". Jo Ann Hoffman.

  • "Nothing says Congrats on a healthy new diet than an arrangement of Broccoli, Fruit and Cauliflower". Anon.

  • "I'm very romantic. I've emptied flower shops". Bob Hoskins.

  • "If you think squash is a competitive activity, try flower arranging". Alan Bennett.

  • "What Alexander Graham Bell thought up occupied less space than a flower vase. Now it's so small that I have to search all my pockets to discover I've received a spam text". P. J. O'Rourke.

  • "Gardening is just another day at the Plant". Anon.

  • "Take one flower that you like and get lots of them. And don't try to 'arrange' them. It's surprisingly hard to do a flower arrangement the way a florist does one. Instead, bunch them all together or put them in a series of small vases all down the table". Ina Garten.

  • "Life is too short. Buy the Hydrangea". Anon.

  • "Say it with flower pots!" P. G. Wodehouse (Leave It To Psmith).

  • "If someone throws a stone at you, throw a flower at them. But remember to throw the flower pot with it". Minions.

  • In the Garden: "Bless My Bloomers".

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Sweet Flower Quotes. 

At the Flower Shop: "Do you have a rose by any other name?"